Sacha Baumann is an artist and designer living and working in Los Angeles.

Modern romance

Before we set out for our reservation at a La-Ti-Da restaurant we had cocktails, snacks, and a little Grand Theft Auto: Vice City-action at the house.

All six of us were into it, yelling out moves, fighting over who's turn it was at the controller. The street racing! The motorcycle! Plowing down the roller-bladers! The babes at the Malibu Club!

Suddenly it was 8:30 and we were supposed to be at the restaurant and hadn't even left yet. We got in our cars and sped up there Vice City style--only no collisions or carjackings.

All of us couldn't shut-up about the game during the meal and too expensive Charbay Lemon Drops. The busboy overheard us and several times gave me a few knowing looks and sly smiles. As he was clearing the dessert course he slipped me this note:

The cheats!!!!! Now you may already know these, but effin'-A!!!!

That busboy, he got his own special tip.

Crush with eyeliner