"Oh, God, that mustache is repulsive. I can't believe I loved him."
"I thought you guys were just friends."
"No, he was like my serious boyfriend like all of freshman year."
"I could have sworn he was gay.... He's knitting."
"Haven't you noticed a lot of straight guys are knitting these days? It's like a macho thing. 'I'm so straight I can even knit.'"