Sacha Baumann is an artist and designer living and working in Los Angeles.

Gee baby, ain't I good to you?

And with all this gratuituous name dropping going on, here's the dream I had last night, in which the moral was: sometimes a cigar is not a cigar, but a fear of wrinkles.

It's messed up and ludicrious, but I dreamt that I had sex with Ashton Kutcher.

To make it worse, the, uh, love-making was less than invigorating. In the middle of a slobber kiss I thought to myself, "Why isn't Ashton with Demi?" Another slobber kiss, and an awkward grope. Then I thought to myself, "I guess he just likes older women."

And that's the rub: I'm the older women. I have no desire what-so-ever to make it with Ashoton Kutcher and I'm not Demi's age, but there it is.. I would be the older woman.

It could be sweet

1967, the year of Perry Mason